All Roads Matter

Dear Sirs of a fictional local newspaper,

It has come to my attention that you, supposedly politically neutral reporters of local disputes, have been rather short-sighted in your recent campaign for the redevelopment of a road on the West-side of town. On this I ask; do not all roads matter?

I am alarmed that you are allowing attention to be diverted to a single sub-section of road without considering the condition of the roads that I navigate on a daily basis. This can only be described as a shocking oversight on your part. Just last week as I travelled to work, I was alarmed at the degradation of the tarmac to the point of fragility. More shocking is the fact that this road has, apparently, been resurfaced three times in the last six months, at great cost no doubt, but is still not up to the standards I would expect. It is with urgency that I suggest that the people of Whataboutery are made just as aware of this faux pas as you have made them aware of the other road surface in recent weeks.

Travelling down my trusted stretch of thoroughfare, I was geared into a state of agitation to see that the road markings have already begun to fade into a colour that would place it several pages into a Dulux colour chart. I was quick to interrupt my wife when she suggested that this perception may be due to the rose-tinted glasses that are often placed upon the bridge of my nose. And even if the colour of my lenses had interfered with my judgement should people not be made aware of this? It has come to the point where I must ask why these details are not given the same level of exposure or importance as the road that has been disregarded for the last 400 years or so.

I hear time and time again that those who face a trek down the West road are several times more likely to be stopped by police and end up behind bars. But I call codswallop on this! You cannot be suggesting that these so-called facts are in some way related to the road in question. Although I have never taken the West route myself, I am aware of the crevasses and potholes that no doubt make any journey, to significance or belonging, relatively uncomfortable. However, the accusations I hear regarding police brutality are in stark contrast with my own experiences. It was only last month, when our road was being re-laid, the police assisted very helpfully with diverting the flow of traffic provoking very little stress at all. If the people of the West feel they are being mistreated then perhaps they should stop making attempts to tread this path.

Your campaign threatens the status quo that has long served my road so well. As such, I have a proposal, and a fair one at that: the markings on both streets are to be repainted so both communities can move on. No doubt the ‘loony liberals’ of your campaign will point to the fact that the highway on the far side of town has been institutionally neglected for centuries and is subsequently in need of more than a quick touch of paint and a pat on the back. However, I fear any further action will undermine traditions that have long kept my road in relative comfort and provided a life of unwavering acceptance in these multicultural times.

I hope you bring forth my concerns to the respective individuals and re-align your campaign to adequately fix the omissions that have been present in recent weeks. To make clear it is preposterous to suggest that centuries of ill-treatment stand as justification to raise this road to a superior position of remedy above others. All roads matter.

Yours Sincerely,

Christopher Yaxley

Disclaimer: A lot like the All Lives Matter protests, this letter should be considered a joke.

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